The Land of the Green Mountains

Many suppose that Vermont, the Green Mountain State, is named as such for its rolling, tree-covered Hills that occupy so much of the state. In fact, the Green of the Mountains comes from the variety of minerals such as chlorite mica found in the schist rocks that form much of the green mountains. When these deposits are exposed, and especially when wet, they shimmer with a blue-green hue that gives the mountains their name. Upon reaching this chartreuse land, our friends were promptly abducted and taken to the home of Kevin's sister, Sarah. She can be seen below, speeding though the wintry air with her captives securely in the trunk her automobile.

The travelers-turned-abductees smiled and nodded as they were shown around the place, placating their savage captor as she dragged them around the house, grunting and slobbering on door handles and shoes.
Once released, the couple became friends with Sarah, who turned out to just have a drooling condition that made it hard for her to speak, and had forgotten her medication somewhere in the shoe closet (hence the drooling on door handles and shoes)
After contemplating the true meaning of christmas for a few hours, with Kevin's parents chanting tibetan meditations in the background, the two decided to get outside and get into some trees. Kevin set up two ropes in the white ash out by the road, and the two went up to see what they could see.
Below is a picture of what Kevin's face looked like before he was mauled by the vicious tree-creature he was posing with. Remember folks, wild animals are WILD!! Please maintain a safe distance from all wildlife, and stay inside your vehicle at all times while in the wildlife park.
The roof of the house is still there and Tasha's bladder never gave out! Good news for all concerned!

Merry Christmas, America!!

Bring on the Yule!!! (says littletruk with his new grill-piece bungeed firmly in place for some wicked holiday driving.

Our travelers made their way east from the heartland of the west, across vast plains and corn fields, through nearly 300 miles of Nebraska, and 300 more of Iowa, before coming to rest 160 miles into Illinois amid a wasteland of box stores, overpasses, and tollbooths; the dreaded suburban netherworld of both Chicago and Gary, Indiana!!
They were not alone in this dreadful place, however, as they had suckered a old college friend of Kevin's to meet up with them and share in the misery on her way from western North Carolina to Ames, Iowa. Meredith is seen here next to her little red bean. Meredith and Tasha, happy to have such a Red Roof over their heads in such a dismal place.

Kevin and Meredith, Just before parting ways the next morning. Our Travelers then headed on east again, pushing through the tolls and lake-effect grayness to the natural wonder of Niagara Falls.
Did you know that the falls are made entirely of cotton candy?
Cotton candy and a hint of red and blue food coloring.
The two were kindly put up for the night by friends in Rochester, NY who were working on a recycled ceramic floor guard to be mounted under the stove they will have in the yurt they are erecting in a downtown Rochester backyard for the winter. Lauren and Mike wave as we depart from their company before the camera has had a chance to warm up enough to bring them into focus.

Ogallala la la la la la!

Kevin and Tasha, not quite in Ogallala, yet. Finally, our duo arrived in the cowboy capital of the west, the town of Ogallala, Nebraska! using only their sense of smell, the two turned out their headlights and coasted into town, finding their way to this quaint little gingerbread house made entirely of sugar and spice.


Inside, they were met by an amiable woman whom Kevin identified as his grandmother, and not an imposter who had comandeered the gingerbread house for the purpose of roasting young children who went astray in the woods. (and by woods I mean the vast plains of corn fields of the midwest).

The woman inside agreed to put them up for a few days, and even teach them how to play dominoes if, in exchange, they were willing to help her eat some of the food she had in her refrigerator. The two happily agreed to this deal. The woman in the gingerbread house said she would even throw in a trip to a poison peanut butter pit in her warp car.
Tasha, attempting to avoid falling into the poison peanut butter by balancing on a cable over an open pit.

Kevin, posing for the graduation picture he never took, leaning picturesquely against the trunk of a wild tree he found while visiting the peanut butter pits.
Kevin's Grandmother, preparing to put her car into warp mode to return to the gingerbread house from the poison peanut butter pits.
Tasha, as the car begins to accelerate to warp speed.
Kevin, as the G-forces distort his face and his grandmother puts the pedal to the metal.
Although the house has never been used in the culinary preparation of the local youth, they are attracted to the house nonetheless, and are often quite demanding of visitors, requiring them to perform such humiliating acts as seen here.
you can't shake a stone at a nebraska sunrise... err, throw a fist... uhhh...

Bikini Bear and the Amerigun

You heard right, folks- the ambiguously awesome duo has done it again! With a mere 5 lbs of sugar cookie dough, our friends have managed to run a muck all over the kitchen. You can check out some of their creations below.
Otherwise, things have been pretty "chill" (as the kids say). The days have been passing quickly, filled with extravagant breakfasts, playing frisbee keep-away with the dogs, and even one attempt at bike touring on the seastar.
Tomorrow, our travelers will bid adieu to the Salty City and head east for Ogallala, NE. Before they left, though, they had the good fortune to enjoy some good old fashioned Utah Vomit (apparently it just PUKES in Utah). Over the past two nights, the weather gods blessed the local ski area with FOUR FEET of fresh powder for our friends to go try and get stuck in on their knuckle-dragging ski-sticks. Kevin commented after finding himself upside down in a field of the stuff that he felt like he was "straight drownin'". Now at least they can check that box on their life lists.

Baby SHARK do do doo do do do doo...
Blast me to the moon to the moon!!!
A jacked up muddin' rig complete with a roll bar and hella lights. boo yah.
The psychedelic snail of Salt Lake...
Two pieces of bacon, a pile of homefries, and one toad in a boat.
Two sisters, toasting their salty meats.
Cowboy, right before getting drilled in the head with a frisbee for the umpteenth time.
Cowboy, simulating the G-forces normally found only when launching into orbit.
After approximately 50 yds, Kevin decided against bike-touring back to VT on the seastar. maybe next year.

Butter, Beardcicles, and Shredding the Gnar

Well, it's been a few days since our friends entered the Salty City, and boy have they been raising a stink! Yesterday, they even brought their game up a few thousand feet, and faced the elements: 3 to 1. Three sick shredders vs. one degree Fahrenheit.
The crew, consisting of Tasha, her sister Tanya, and their fuzzy friend, headed up the mountain for what they later found out in the lift line from a fellow shredder was known as "white trash wednesdays". On these very special days, skiers and riders who bring a children's toy valued at $10 or more to a collection table at the mountain can purchase lift tickets for a mere $15, down from the standard $58. The team selected toys that were as responsible as they could find, including a stuffed penguin accompanied by an educational DVD on the aquatic avians, and a boomerang (which gets kids outside, is biodegradable, and is AWESOME!!) Who knew giving children rad toys was trashy?

After a brief, mid-morning, toe-warming session (pictured below), the team skied their fill and got off the mountain before the fashion police could catch up with them and throw them all out on their rear's for Kevin's mismatched getup. (Because really, who wears blue boots with an orange jacket?)


The team refueled on yogurt and jerky (only the best- from Stewart's Meats, Yelm, WA) on their trip back down the mountain, to meet up with their other partners in crime back at home...
Cowboy, the crazy bird dog with an insatiable curiosity for all things that can potentially harm him...

Butter, the playful pit bull pushover who is easily conned by Cowboy into evil corduroy-destroying tug-o-war matches...
and Sidvicious, the larger-than-your-average-housecat pixie-bob with a kitten's meow to accompany his sharp claws and fuzzy jowls in his fierce defense of all things wrapped in paper and tied with curly ribbon. The team is currently planning tomorrow's strategy for taking over the world...
Stay Tuned.

Temps that will freeze your banana... really!

No, the banana pictured here is not a rare strain that has been genetically engineered by monsanto to appeal to a wider range of consumers with its sleek, chocolate-brown exterior. I wish. This was a bright yellow banana imported from god knows which faraway country using untold litres of petrol, only to be left on the dashboard overnight in Bend, OR when the temperatures dropped to well below freezing. When the banana was found, our travellers were shuffling around in the few inches of fluffy snow that fell in the night, getting ready for a dawn departure from the shining city of cookies and pow pow. After waiting for 15 minutes for the truck to warm up enough for the tail lights to turn on (don't ask why), our duo puttered away into the morning, heading east along route 26.

As the hours passed, the countryside rolled by in the arid, white climate, with Old Faithful (the truck) chugging on steadily, hauling it's loaded rear end up the undulating hills of eastern Oregon, occasionally swerving as strong winds caught the rooftop load unawares. 13 hours and 2 more states later, Kevin and Tasha finally found themselves coming to a stop in front of nick's house (Tasha's sister's boyfriend), where her sister (Tanya), Nick, and their roomate, Dave reside in the City of the Great Salt Lake. (complete with a popcorn-and-cranberry adorned christmas tree).

Southward and upward!!

After dropping his payload of meat and friends in Yelm, Kevin volunteered some time with the Nisqually Land Trust, helping his friend Joe pick up a load of live stakes to be planted along a tributary of the Nisqually River in an area that has up to now been dominated with the invasive demon-plant known as Reed Canary Grass.

From there, Kevin continued south to Portland to Finally meet up with his estranged companion, Admiral Natasha Lorraine Lexin at the lokal Aeronautic Transportation Dock. After refueling and packing long lost belonging into Tasha's lonely transporter, Ravioli (a maroon Rav4),the two made their way in tandem down the infamous Interstate 5, deep into the fog of southern Oregon. (not pictured below)

The two travelers spent dos dias in the charming villa of Grant's Pass, perusing antique stores, pretending to ride two-up on small dirtbikes, and generally running a much at the local bowling allys. Before the local branch of homeland security could run them out of town for the appearance of their vagabond vehicles, our friends bid Tashas mother, father, stepmother and stepbrother adieu and took off for the high mountain passes and dry scrubland of Bend, OR

In Bend, they were met with warm hugs (above) and a wet tongue (the hugs from Hannah, Tasha's long-time friend, and the Tongue from Hazel, Hannah's Golden retriever, also a long-time friend of Tasha's). The SeaStar made it's debut roll of the trip as it was unlashed from the gunwales of the truck and taken on a tour of the Bend City Parks along with a few abandoned cruisers left at Hannah's house by previous tennants. That evening, a rousing game of dominos was MC'ed by Dan, Hannah's husband, followed by a raucaus round of UNO. By the time the crew had roamed the streets in search of giant cookies and spent some time relaxing in the local McMeniman's Soaking pool, everyone was ready to hit the proverbial hay.